This is the theme song for my journey to the next phase...
Monday, October 26, 2009
Journey Man
We are at the road now.
On that way out the A town
Can't stay in the same place
Can't fall into that same chase
I face the goal with heads up
Can't fall back, gotta catch up
3pm and it's time to ride out
Up north trip, no more 95 south
I'm on my way up
It's time to stay up
Morning wake ups
Dreams make us
So I'm making my difference
God on the inside, see I listen
Guess that my inner wishing
Or should I say intuition
Now playing: Mos Def & dj honda - Travellin' Man(original version)
On that way out the A town
Can't stay in the same place
Can't fall into that same chase
I face the goal with heads up
Can't fall back, gotta catch up
3pm and it's time to ride out
Up north trip, no more 95 south
I'm on my way up
It's time to stay up
Morning wake ups
Dreams make us
So I'm making my difference
God on the inside, see I listen
Guess that my inner wishing
Or should I say intuition
----------------
Friday, October 16, 2009
DeSiReS
I know that she misses my kisses.
Since I admit I miss all of my misses
This sickness makes me imagine
Sheets from silk, pillows made out satin
The action that made everything fantastic
The times I touched those lips made me slip
Into a deep daze or haze that could amaze
I know that I wasn't perfect when we met
But this taste of your beautiful sweet sweat
That I taste from your neck and chest
I couldn't pass this moment to lose myself
I don't know what else I could give
But inside your heart is where I live
I would give anything to be there with you
I must have you inside my soul
You're the warm place inside from the cold
I know that they said I would quit
I'm so into you you that I throw fits
Cause they don't know what we have
And there fear of loneliness make me laugh
In my essence I would give you a bath
Inside my soul forever is where it last
Inside my eyes you can see my pain
But inside you is the answer to keep sane
Karma Sutra could make this better
I put to your skin the finest feathers
I don't fret to let go in the moment
It's almost an omen for me to own it
I can't let you leave without knowing me
I can't let you see that you're my only need
You're the reasons that I can't past the point
I have to say that your saliva anoints my joints
To the position that make me want you more
in this poem I must pour everything that makes smile
I have to admit I haven't done this in a while
And the Tao tells me to embrace my beauty
I find my losing it in this cutie is a Godly duty
I should have not questioned if I could be this happy
I am all these things, at 2000% passionately
Why we should never quit makes me admit
That I can never live without this bliss
Since I admit I miss all of my misses
This sickness makes me imagine
Sheets from silk, pillows made out satin
The action that made everything fantastic
The times I touched those lips made me slip
Into a deep daze or haze that could amaze
I know that I wasn't perfect when we met
But this taste of your beautiful sweet sweat
That I taste from your neck and chest
I couldn't pass this moment to lose myself
I don't know what else I could give
But inside your heart is where I live
I would give anything to be there with you
I must have you inside my soul
You're the warm place inside from the cold
I know that they said I would quit
I'm so into you you that I throw fits
Cause they don't know what we have
And there fear of loneliness make me laugh
In my essence I would give you a bath
Inside my soul forever is where it last
Inside my eyes you can see my pain
But inside you is the answer to keep sane
Karma Sutra could make this better
I put to your skin the finest feathers
I don't fret to let go in the moment
It's almost an omen for me to own it
I can't let you leave without knowing me
I can't let you see that you're my only need
You're the reasons that I can't past the point
I have to say that your saliva anoints my joints
To the position that make me want you more
in this poem I must pour everything that makes smile
I have to admit I haven't done this in a while
And the Tao tells me to embrace my beauty
I find my losing it in this cutie is a Godly duty
I should have not questioned if I could be this happy
I am all these things, at 2000% passionately
Why we should never quit makes me admit
That I can never live without this bliss
----------------
Now playing: Bilal - All For Love
Saturday, October 10, 2009
When you know
I knew when I made the choice to be a better man for not just for her, but for myself. I know that she is worth the effort, thoughts, and struggle. I could be ok at my present state, but why just be ordinary when I could be extraordinary. To choose someone above yourself is the greatest sacrifice. I knew that it was going to be a struggle for me since I've spent years being selfish. I thought it was gonna be easy and simple; instead it has been hard. I acknowledge that I've been selfish. Partially because of my situation with my son. The struggle of sacrificing so much to lose it in the (end) has been a struggle. I see that my ways much change, so I step it up. I face my greatest challenges and fears face to face. Some were easy to conquer. Others are such a struggle that I find myself spending hours fight against falling back in the habit. I don't claim to be perfect. Honesty I'm perfectly imperfect. I know that all I can do is put forth all my effort and the greatest reward will come.
You know it's something special when you would move around the world for her. I can say it was simple, but in reality it's the hardest decision I've made thus far. I've put her before me, cause she deserves to be. I haven't praised anyone before, but if I am going to believe, love, and trust someone. Why not the person who makes you think about it?
----------------
Now playing: Alicia Keys - Like You'll Never See Me Again
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Shadow of Doubt
When I'm sitting here in front of the screen
I think about all of my dreams and skeems
Addictive qualities to share like a fiend
Maybe in the midst I could be redeemed
But then the tears start....
Before I get to wipe, I fall apart
Pour my pain all over my shirt
Capsized eyes filled with hurt
What could make me collapse
Perhaps it's all the crap
That constantly distracts
Me from being better
But what does that mean?
Does it mean that I'm not me
Cause I cause all of my frustration
The lack of patience
The fear of being complacent
The traces of pure hatred
Playing my own Jason
Pacing the room trying to gain composure
Inside I try to find some type of closure
But the walls are getting closer
I'm only getting older, bolder, and colder
The thoughts of self worth
Charisma is the gift and curse
Now my purpose is to destroy?
When I always thought I am joy
Then she tells me it's time to move
Right when I'm tightly wound in this groove
Thinking that I would never lose
That's why I'm so damn confused
Can't keep thinking that drinking will solve problems
When the bottle was always the initial cause of them
I think about all of my dreams and skeems
Addictive qualities to share like a fiend
Maybe in the midst I could be redeemed
But then the tears start....
Before I get to wipe, I fall apart
Pour my pain all over my shirt
Capsized eyes filled with hurt
What could make me collapse
Perhaps it's all the crap
That constantly distracts
Me from being better
But what does that mean?
Does it mean that I'm not me
Cause I cause all of my frustration
The lack of patience
The fear of being complacent
The traces of pure hatred
Playing my own Jason
Pacing the room trying to gain composure
Inside I try to find some type of closure
But the walls are getting closer
I'm only getting older, bolder, and colder
The thoughts of self worth
Charisma is the gift and curse
Now my purpose is to destroy?
When I always thought I am joy
Then she tells me it's time to move
Right when I'm tightly wound in this groove
Thinking that I would never lose
That's why I'm so damn confused
Can't keep thinking that drinking will solve problems
When the bottle was always the initial cause of them
----------------
Now playing: Eric Roberson - She
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
No fans
I dedicate this to the part of me that stays angry
The one that makes me wonder if I'm Mr. Hanky
This makes me feel like I'm behind bars (Rick Slick)
Hypochondriac thought that makes me so sick
I admit to all the bullshit I've done in the past
My ass don't seem to change before the minutes last
Me and moms stay in a constant clash
Struggling to keep my ass unabashed
Couldn't see that I create all these problems
Guess cause failures are becoming constant
My girl getting sick of my lack of consistency
Like I'm not consistently thinking selfishly
I thought I could be better than I use to be
But then I realize that change is only for me
Trying to make my life more constructive
My reasons are so subjective and destructive
What the fuck is this country gonna do when I get tired
Saints die at the hands of the national televised liars
The one that makes me wonder if I'm Mr. Hanky
This makes me feel like I'm behind bars (Rick Slick)
Hypochondriac thought that makes me so sick
I admit to all the bullshit I've done in the past
My ass don't seem to change before the minutes last
Me and moms stay in a constant clash
Struggling to keep my ass unabashed
Couldn't see that I create all these problems
Guess cause failures are becoming constant
My girl getting sick of my lack of consistency
Like I'm not consistently thinking selfishly
I thought I could be better than I use to be
But then I realize that change is only for me
Trying to make my life more constructive
My reasons are so subjective and destructive
What the fuck is this country gonna do when I get tired
Saints die at the hands of the national televised liars
Monday, October 5, 2009
Design my Line
We can see thru those lies and why should I
Act like I don't see it, when I believe it (why)
Cause I wasn't born yesterday or last week
But with the tree reeking and me leaving
There's the reason I can't run with the heathens
Making soul stealing seem like it's peaking
I'm peaking through the nonsense that you present
So intense to get acknowledgment that you'll lose it
And you're my favorite drug, so why not abuse it
Probably for the same reason I see the illusions
And that fact that I keep confusing sex for love
So I'll have to pass all of the above until I find my place
Until the tears dry on my face cause the taste
Can't replace the distaste I that continues to chase me
The reason I've been so slow to react is my lack
Of interest in the fact that you attract...nothing
When in life, I've been searching for something
Worth more than just a quick moment of lust
I guess the older I get, the more I trust myself
I know I have me, when there is no one else
I've grown tired of the two biddies and soft lilies
Making me feel so silly cause I fall for it, literally
Now I actually step away before I'm led astray
No day is today, except for the way I stay
Duplicating my delay to be the man that I AMAZE
Act like I don't see it, when I believe it (why)
Cause I wasn't born yesterday or last week
But with the tree reeking and me leaving
There's the reason I can't run with the heathens
Making soul stealing seem like it's peaking
I'm peaking through the nonsense that you present
So intense to get acknowledgment that you'll lose it
And you're my favorite drug, so why not abuse it
Probably for the same reason I see the illusions
And that fact that I keep confusing sex for love
So I'll have to pass all of the above until I find my place
Until the tears dry on my face cause the taste
Can't replace the distaste I that continues to chase me
The reason I've been so slow to react is my lack
Of interest in the fact that you attract...nothing
When in life, I've been searching for something
Worth more than just a quick moment of lust
I guess the older I get, the more I trust myself
I know I have me, when there is no one else
I've grown tired of the two biddies and soft lilies
Making me feel so silly cause I fall for it, literally
Now I actually step away before I'm led astray
No day is today, except for the way I stay
Duplicating my delay to be the man that I AMAZE
----------------
Now playing: Beatles - Here, There And Everywhere
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Missing Love
Love is thinking of ways to make her smile when she's sad.
Love is Not when you are the reason that she is always sad.
Love is wanting to be better cause you know she deserves better.
Love is Not getting better, so that others can benefit from your efforts.
Love is choosing to say "No" when your whole life you've said "Yes."
Love is Not saying "Yes" because she expects you to say "No."
Love is having the guts to expose your deepest fears.
Love is Not hiding your vulnerabilities because it's not masculine.
Love is growing together, because you know you couldn't be apart.
Love is Not staying because you are afraid to be alone.
----------------Love is Not when you are the reason that she is always sad.
Love is wanting to be better cause you know she deserves better.
Love is Not getting better, so that others can benefit from your efforts.
Love is choosing to say "No" when your whole life you've said "Yes."
Love is Not saying "Yes" because she expects you to say "No."
Love is having the guts to expose your deepest fears.
Love is Not hiding your vulnerabilities because it's not masculine.
Love is growing together, because you know you couldn't be apart.
Love is Not staying because you are afraid to be alone.
Now playing: Bill Withers - Can We Pretend
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